Monday, March 9, 2009

To the venerable and enlightened beings from planets in galaxies far far away!

Hi Aliens!

My name is Marv, I'm 33 Earth-years old, and I'm a professional Mathematician. I live in Jersey City, New Yersey with my pet cat Navel, and I have the most powerful telescope in my neighborhood! I love gazing into the cosmos, monitoring distant planets and thier moons, comets, and searching for signs from you.

Due to some recent cosmic activity I have been privvy to, I have become concerned about your imminent interactions and perceptions of the human race and our existence on our lovely Earth. I am creating this blog just to kind of help you fully understand our little planet and some of the crazy stuff we do.

We humans are really a fun race, but I wonder if some of our activities may seem confusing and/or distressing to you. Please don't take offense! I'm not underestimating your intelligence. I can't even begin to imagine the mental powers contained in your amazing giant heads.

Please understand, though, that not everything we do is based on logic, and I am sure that some sort of a culture shock is inevitable. I am hoping that this blog may aid in preventing you from deciding to eliminate us as a species prematurely. If you just give us a chance, I am positive that you will find us and our little blue planet to be welcoming and Fun!

I don't know how many planets you've visited, but ours could make an excellent tourist attraction! We may only have one moon, but I'll tell you, a pony ride at the Wisconsin State Fair is an adventure you won't find anywhere else in our solar system!

This is a really grand and expansive undertaking, so I hope you will have patience with me. I am going to assume that you are already versed with the basics (evolution of our species, technological achievements, global climate conditions, biodiversity, etc...), so I will focus more on the specific things. Either things that I think really make Earth stand out as a planet, or things that are just kind of wacky.

Reporting from the Rock,

-Marv Spiel
(and Navel)
ps - If you are considering potential candidates to come up and visit your majestic ships, I am an excellent choice! My mathematical prowess will aide both in our verbal and technological understandings of one another! As you can see I am also an excellent writer so I will be able to convey the magnificence of your advanced technologies to the rest of my colleagues.

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